Perry is our trendy contributor. He flashes knowledge on all spectrums of life. If something is hip, he
knows about. In addition, he brings to the table an uncanny memory that will awe and amaze you.
Hobbies:Mopeds, Barless helmets, Nike hightops, Collies, The
Legend of Zelda, All Indiana Jones movies, Muskmelon, Collecting "Alf" figurines, and Watching The Jeffersons
Jerry is known for his sharp tongue and acidic comments towards anything and everything he does not like. He destests
most people. However, he offers an entertaining view on life that many of us think, but don't always express.
Hobbies: Ovaltine hot, French horn performances, Sunbathing, Ham radio, Scandinavians,
Curly-haired midgets, Spellunking, The Band Foreigner, MC Hammer, and Pierce Bronson
Kloob is our most experienced contributor. He has
held an array of different jobs, lived several different places and dealt with many minorities. Kloob’s
keen wit is coupled with immeasurable book smarts. His ability to collect and disseminate facts while maintaining a compelling
sense of humor makes him invaluable to the SSF team. In addition, Kloob is 100% mongoloid. Dropped
down a flight of metal stairs at 22 months of age, Kloob has minimal motor skills and cannot make
any sounds decipherable by humans. Graduated from high school at age 14, Kloob went on to
the Massachusettes Institute of Technology but left in 1993 before graduating to pursue his blossoming
modeling career.
Hobbies:Cattle future’s, Pottery, Moonshine, Cigarettes, Scrabble, Insects, HGTV, Comanche art history, The Pet Shop
Boys, Earmuffs, Step aerobics, Shops at Red Owl and White Drug
PJ is a real banker, and a good one at that, holding many different prestigious posts throughout his career. He
will be sharing his views on what is wrong with the financial industry, sharing some advice, and answer any questions
you may have (anonymously of course). We believe the financial crisis facing our country is a major problem, and needs
to be addressed. Hopefully PJ can share some valuable insight and humor, and enlighten you.
Hobbies:Body Art, Model T’s, Photographing old barns, Identifying
tree species, Shingles, Eating at Sonic, Backgammon, and Owns a large collection of personally videotaped Bo Jackson highlights
JOSH
ALOMAR Josh brings his hybrid Mexican-American heritage to our page with many Mexican, right-slanted points of view.
Biting sarcasm with a taste of reality we all wish we could have the boldness to proclaim are his strong points. Josh
is fresh off of the field of a fake documentary where he pretended to be a Mormon in the heart of Mississippi rural country,
and will share all of his views on that and many other interesting ordeals in life. Also, Josh is strongly in favor
of sweat labor being performed in Mexico for $.82 an hour for major corporations, after all, someone has to build cheap Toyota
vehicles.
Hobbies: Scrapbooking,
World of Warcraft, perms, Pog collecting, antiquing, The Statler
Brothers, TV dinners, swap meets, soap-box racing, pet sitting, Fruit punch, The Golden Girls, banjo, puppetry, salsa dancing,
Juggling, tombstone rubbing, chow mien, hard rock café t-shirts, rest areas, Dilly bars, O Magazine, seagulls, Savage
Garden, maple syrup, and Ace of Base
First Amendment of the United States Constitution: "Congress shall make no law respecting
an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press;
or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
We here at Sharkshellfish hold no ill-will to those who doubt our dogmas or views. However, we do believe the
strongest point of any democracy is a plethora of different views on any, and every subject. Any good free nation knows
that many differing views can only show them their weaknesses, and make them stronger as a whole by recognizing those views. ** Disclaimer** Content on this site may sometimes be fiction.
