Political Rants

Is the Constitution a living document? I choose to say no. I personally believe that the Framer’s wrote the Constitution as a set of rules that would stand the test of time. These were some of the most brilliant men in the history of the world. Look at the Democracy they created? I’m sure they had no idea it would become this much of a monster world power at the time, but just the same it did.

Antonin Scalia is a super-conservative Supreme Court Justice. It doesn’t seem there is very many conservative lawyers, but those who do in fact exist, are mostly huge fans of Scalia. Scalia believes we should interpret the Constitution from the perspective of our Framers, and it is not a living document. I couldn’t agree more. The foundation of our country has worked using these methods, so why would we now want judges altering the meaning of our sacred document? Changing with the times may seem the thing to do, but it will hurt us in the long run. This is an argument that will drag on until the end of our country, but we really need more supporters of the set in stone interpretations of the Constitution.

If there is a pressing matter that the Constitution does not cover, it needs to be amended into the Constitution. The Legislature needs to grab the bull by horns, and make the applicable laws that are needed. We cannot rely on the judiciary to start changing the Constitution to meet these demands, or in essence start creating laws. People that advocate this are fools. It will eventually be the end of our democracy. I realize this isn’t running rampant right now, but it is always brimming just under the surface, and one set of loose cannon judges could start the ball rolling.

The bottom line: I wish Scalia was our President. He never will be, but he is the exact type of person we need leading our country right now, and he is vastly underappreciated. The tree-huggers would hate him, but they just don’t get it. Do some research on the man, and you will understand.

Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut the f*ck up! Could you idiots just SHUT UP for 2 seconds and let me think for Heaven’s sake. All I see, read, hear, digest, think about, hear about is what this candidate did, what they said. Did you hear what Clinton said about her trip to Bosnia? Did you see what Obama did at that debate? Did you read what McCain wrote in Kentucky yesterday? The answers no, I can’t process this sh*t anymore, I need a break. I need a break from democracy. There, I said it. I want a monarchy for the next 6 months to tell me when I can work, when I can sleep and when I can take a piss. Restroom break, boss? Not before you clean the stables GOLDSTEIN! I’ll take it! Russert, Matthews, Stephanopolous, Limbaugh, Franken, Ingram, lefty, righty, Jew, Christian, woman, man just shut up.

I don’t even know what party I’m for anymore. The media is constantly up my ass telling me who did what and why they did it. They scrutinize every little move. We’re taking this too far. I’m not saying it’s not important, I’m saying the amount of coverage is out of control. It’s too much. The media is once again acting in an irresponsible manner and the general public is suffering from overkill. And it’s not just the democratic race. Both sides of the aisle are equally over covered, over hyped. MSNBC says: “Stay informed, do your homework, keep it here for the latest political commentary”…no thank you, I’d rather watch Gilligan’s Island.

Get Out and Vote! The government always throws at us the propaganda to “Get Out and Vote!” Question. Is this really good advice for the entire population?

Case 1) Lower-class, 25-year old woman with four kids from three different fathers. Her typical day is spent smoking cigarettes, driving to the smoke shop for more cigarettes, cashing in her food stamps for sirloin steaks, and watching Maury Povich and Judge Judy. Is she really someone that will cast a worthwhile vote? More than likely she knows nothing about any relevant political topics, yet alone what any of the candidates stand for, or any measures they want to take if voted into office. Chances are she will vote for the guy or gal with the coolest name. That sure is a vote well spent.

Case 2) Middle-aged housewife with 2.5 kids. Her days are spent driving her middle-school aged kids to school (God forbid anyone take the bus anymore), watching Ellen Degeneres, Days of Our Lives, and Dr. Phil before her kids get home. The rest of the day is spent talking to other middle-aged housewives about the hot new phy-ed teacher, or what other housewife is having an affair. You can bet your money she will vote for the coolest name, or at best, the politician that her asshole, yuppie husband will tell her to vote for. Another vote well spent.

Case 3) Retired person. Their days entail waking up at 4:30 AM to take the obligatory “old person early-AM sh*t,” then drinking three cups of coffee while complaining about their latest prostate or arthritis problem. Early lunch at 10 AM, followed up by a quick game of cribbage and Judge Judy before the 1 PM nap. They wake up at 2:30 and promptly turn the television on to the Hallmark channel to catch three consecutive episodes of Matlock, starring none other than every old asse’s favorite, Andy Griffith. By the time this is done, it is now late. 5:30 PM and almost too late for supper. They quickly microwave a TV-dinner, and settle back down for the 6 PM news. They get their quick fix on the daily crime news, and a couple of heartfelt stories on some minority having issues paying their electricity bill. After all of this, they are shot and ready for bed. 8 PM, it’s all over but the snoring. Lights out. Once again, a vote well spent.

How well informed are these people? The scary thing is that they account for a large percentage of the votes cast each year in political ballots. Just some food for thought. Is the slogan “Get Out and Vote,” that great a slogan??? A rant for the future, people that bitch about the problems of their state/nation, and do nothing to get their voice heard.
By Keith Kloob 4-21-08

Would you send your son to war?
Jesse Ventura was on Larry King Live on Saturday night and proved to be an entertaining interview. Supposedly he hasn’t been seen in the spotlight for the last 3.5 years because of a noncompete agreement he had to honor with MSNBC. Well, he was back in rare form, and promising us more. As always, he made some crazy comments such as he would have a good chance of winning the Presidential Race in 2008 if he could get on the ballot, and also saying he was the most dangerous politician in America. I view all of this as simply fluff from a man that is hungering for media attention.

Ventura did bring up an interesting point however when he said that deciding to go to war boils down to one simple question for a Commander-In-Chief. That question is, “Is the war worth fighting so that you would send your own son?” At first I thought that is a great question, and hell yeah, what a perfect way to gauge if a situation is important enough to send our soldiers to die. However, that question is seriously flawed.

It seems that Ventura forgets that our army is a volunteer army where soldiers choose to serve. No one forces them, and they know the risks of signing up. In return for their service, they get an excellent pension and if they choose a free education. A professional military is what they are, and when we decide an issue is important enough to put the hammer down, we send in our professionals. It’s just like doing your taxes. If you have all kinds of crazy financial matters going on that would blow up your brain if you tried to handle them, what do you do? You hire a C.P.A. to take care of it. A trained professional. Maybe that is a weak analogy, but that’s how I view our army.

However, if our army was simply a draft system, and basically every male had to put in some service time, I might view Ventura’s question a bit differently. In a draft system the soldiers are not serving of their free will, and probably would not receive the benefits in the long run that a volunteer force does receive. Also, many times in a volunteer system, we get the best of the best. A draft system throws whatever able body is next in line into the fray.

Many other factors come into play when deciding to go to war. Maybe would you send your own son is a novel idea, but it is way too simplified. What if the President’s son has Down Syndrome? I don’t think we would want Corky serving on the front lines of our defense. Ventura holds himself out as an idealist, but I think he is incredibly one-sided on all of his ideas. He refuses to hear the opposing side to his views, and that is extremely annoying when listening to a debate on politics, foreign policy, or any other important issue. Ventura in office would be like talking to a wall whenever someone went against his ideals. I realize Ventura is a moron, and has no chance in hell of ever being taken seriously, but will there be a day when an Independent candidate could make a run for the Golden Prize? Please don’t bring up Ross Perot.

Keith Kloob 4-3-08

Honest politicians. Shortly after being sworn in as the new Governor of New York, David Paterson admitted to having an affair years back. He justified it by saying he at least never paid for sex like his predecessor Spitzer. Just when you thought you have seen it all, something else brims to the surface.

I’m not even sure what else to say about this situation. I actually find it funny. Plus, Paterson is blind. How many lady slayers are blind? There can’t be very many. I wanted to go on some sort of rant on the lost morality shown by the majority of our country’s leaders, but I feel it is just a waste of breath. A blind Governor who likes to get his rocks off. Only in America.

Won't someone think of the white man?

Here's the problem in summary form. Don't like Obama? You're a racist. Don't like Hillary? You're a sexist. Don't like McCain? You are a gay French communist who hates America and also a racist sexist.

How did we get to this point? We have some of the most educated people in the world hired to get these guys elected and the best arguments they can come up with are arguments developed by little children. How about if you don't vote for Hillary you're a poopy-head? Or if McCain isn't your guy you have cooties.

Another argument I keep hearing is that this election is about change. Change for everyone else, not the white man. The white man is responsible for all the wrongs in society and needs to be usurped. I'll agree that the history of the white man isn't pretty, we did try to kill all the native americans and the whole "slavery" thing, that doesn't look good on a resume. But I digress....

Yeah, I'm half-white, but does that mean I'm half-responsible for all the problems in this country? No. I'm responsible for my wife, family, and debts. I even have a black friend. I'm a model citizen, but if I don't like a white woman, a groovy black dude, or a cranky old white codger I should burn in hell forever to contemplate the plight of everyone who's not a privileged white man. I'm not voting. Screw all of you guys.

Congressional Hearings and Professional Sports. If you are a regular reader of SSF, you know that I, Perry M. Tostenmen am a simpleton. I view our world and its issues in a straightforward way. I usually research and exam matters of journalistic interest. However, I have purposefully avoided the media circus that is the recent (and past) Congressional Hearings on Major League Baseball and Steroids and more recently, a Senator’s personal vendetta against the New England Patriots and NFL (re: the idiotically named “SpyGate” incident). So if my facts are wrong, sue me. I’m just trying to call it like I see it.

Someone please explain to me in elementary terms why our U.S. Government “leadership” has taken it upon themselves to get involved with a matter such as steroids in baseball and illegal videotaping in football. Seriously WTF?

In the case of the MLB Steroid case, we have Rep Henry Waxman a.k.a. Bulbous Snout Pig Face. A no-name unattractive congressman who is undoubtedly trying to build a name for his revolting self to garner more votes in his native California. Did you see him trying to be a tough guy in the Clemens thing? Unbelievable. Then with regards to the ridiculous inquiry into Spygate by closet liberal Arlen “Give me Attention” Spector, it seems nothing more than a power game to further his influence on the national stage for future gains. Deplorable.

Please correct me if I am wrong (Honestly, let me know: perrytostenmen@sharkshellfish.com) but I thought that Major League Baseball and the National Football League and their dues paying clubs and teams were privately operated entities? Why on earth would our Congress need to get involved in incidents where the leagues themselves are in charge of regulation and enforcement? To put it to my life terms, it would be like Chuck “Worst Human Being in the World” Schumer (D-NY), summoning me, Perry M. Tostenmen to testify in front of a Congressional Oversight Committee for my alleged surveillance of rival fried chicken chain Chic-fil-a (KFC rules!). I mean seriously, does the government have to have its hands in everything? No, Kentucky Fried Chicken should be the responsible party in charge of supervision with regards to my conduct (I like extra tasty crispy). Likewise, MLB and NFL should be able to govern themselves.

I understand that in the cases of federal laws, companies and organizations must be held responsible by the government (i.e. Enron, Arthur Anderson, etc). But when did letting Andy Pettite inject horse ejaculate into a teammates a** or having an intern shoot grainy video of a meaningless pre-game walkthrough become a felony? Again, WTF?

Don’t these a**holes have anything better to do in congress? Last I checked, gas is pushing $3/gal, the housing market is sh*t, we’re paying billions annually to a soon to be defunct Social Security system and Islamo-Facists still want to eradicate innocent citizens at home and abroad.

Congratulations John McCain, you are single-handedly destroying the Republican Party as we know it….or as I should say, as Ronald Reagan knew it.

With the minor omission of your worthy stance on the war on terror and troop support, you are a liberal democrat incarnate. For the past 10 years you have both publicly and privately sabotaged the GOP and its constituents. You collaborate with people like Ted Kennedy (Amnesty for Illegals), Russell Feingold (a miserable attempt at Campaign Finance control which ended up aiding lefty nut jobs like George Soros) and even the unlovable liberal loser, John Kerry (widely whispered you nearly left the GOP in 2004 to run as VP with Kerry).

You also support an extensive Climate Change domestic policy that even Fruit Loop Al Gore would be proud to support. Remember when you co-sponsored the first Senate bill calling for mandatory cuts to greenhouse-gas emissions? Even Greenpeace gave you kudos on it and lauded you as the greenest Republican presidential candidate in history. I’m sorry but that is not something to be proud of John. The GOP is supposed to put the freedoms of tax-paying Americans first; bills on greenhouse gas emissions only stifle our limping economy further by punishing businesses and business owners already over-controlled and over-taxed. But that’s nothing new for you John.

You have proven yourself as a tax loving madcap. In case you forgot John, here’s what you have done in the Senate. Your record speaks for itself.

On top of that, I can’t in good faith support anyone who the NEA and New York Times also endorse.

And yet, you still call yourself a Republican. Shame, shame. If you John McCain are the future of the ROP party, it’s time for us TRUE Republicans (Conservatives) to call it quits and watch the GOP go the way of the Whig. So John, don’t be surprised when your “R” suddenly morphs into a “D”- you’re more than halfway there already.

I’m nearly ready to take on a new party, a real Reagan conservative party. Maybe called it the Reaganic Party-men like Newt, Duncan and Rush will be our beacon. You heard it here first. Just don’t come ruin us too, I beg you John.

P.S. If you should win the White House, it’ll be a dream come true for the Dems. You and Pelosi can move forward with Liberal policies and when they fail miserably, it can be blamed on the “Republican” President. Think about it.